I remember getting my first real job about 10 years ago. I felt like I had finally made it and that I was a contributing member of society. No matter what happened, I was worry-free because I made decent money. Little did I know that my perspective was limited and that my self-worth was largely tied to my job and how much money I made.

After 5 years of working, I was on employment insurance because a project ended and there was no more work. I immediately felt worthless. There was very little I could do, and I kept looking for different avenues that I could take in order to have a better outlook on life. I studied, applied for work, and tried several things to alleviate the pressure that I was putting on myself. However, the problem at the time wasn’t that I didn’t work; it was entirely a problem with self-worth.

You see, I believe that a large part of society thinks that you’re only worth your net worth, and while it’s important to have work as a part of life, it shouldn’t be something that completely defines my self-worth. So, I’ve learned to build self-worth by learning that I can build it and live a good life regardless of how much I make and what I do.

In my last post, I mentioned self-determination theory, where I have autonomy over my life. This is key in establishing self-worth because I believe that I determine whether I am someone who is able to contribute meaningfully to an event. While it seems a little bit easier to have a job as another anchor for self-worth, it cannot be a sole determinant of self-worth since people may eventually retire, get laid off, quit, etc.

I realized after having worked for such a long time that this was a problem that I had always faced. I didn’t determine my own self-worth or build it with a stable foundation. The foundation hinged entirely on the fact that someone gave me money and a title. I realized that if I don’t define my own self-worth and let the world define it for me, I would never have a stable foundation.

I’m building and finding my self-worth by understanding my awareness, needs, and being able to voice them. In gaining a full understanding of myself and knowing what I want but also knowing the value I am able to provide to any event. I found that knowing my mental, emotional, and physical limitations gave me more confidence in my own abilities to build a stronger foundation for self-worth. While it’s been a challenging journey, it’s been one that has made my life significantly better.

Until the next post, thank you for reading! As always, wishing you love and success!