“When we avoid difficult conversations, we trade short-term discomfort for long-term dysfunction.”

– Peter Bromberg

I recently had a conversation with my father about his finances. It wasn’t an easy conversation. As a matter of fact, on my end, I could see that he was incredibly angry and frustrated. At one point, I told him to calm down and he said the same to me a few minutes later.

The irony is that he talks and care a lot about money but when we finally discuss his personal finance, it became apparent that this topic was not easy to talk about. Perhaps I should partly take responsibly on how it went because I should be able to have this conversation without triggering strong emotions but this was the best I could do. To simply bring up the topic and go through it regardless of all the waves of emotions that come through.

I believe partially why it is so hard is because I can see the problems in our lives but I don’t necessarily know how to fix them. We do our best to contribute to the lives the best way possible but sometimes, our life just goes in circles. I know my life was certainly feeling that way and when it does happen, we have to muster up the courage to bring it upon ourselves to do what needs to be done.

I learned recently and can see a lot of dysfunction in this world. Most of it, to me, is caused by a lack of communication. I can see why communication is hard. It took me several weeks to a month to finally discuss the problems that we weighing on my mind. I found that, for the most part, while we are able to change things around us, there may be only so much we can change. This takes the burden away from trying so hard to change things. At the same time, it means that we can have honest conversations with the ones we love.

Through understanding these conversations, I realized that while I can do everything myself and ignore my feelings, it kind of doesn’t make sense to do so. What ended up actually making sense was educating those around me so that they can then better manage their own lives. If their lives are better managed by themselves then my life, being part of theirs, will also inevitably become better.

The whole situation with people is that it isn’t a one time fix but more of a lifelong process. A lot of people in this world aren’t able to properly communicate their needs, which is what makes their lives and the lives of others so difficult. I find that the best way to communicate is to be assertive about your needs, not passive, aggressive or passive-aggressive. Many people don’t realize or understand communication styles but this is key to having a successful and fulfilling life.

How we communicate and provide to the world greatly affects our daily life and outlook. On top of that, we communicate internally in the same way so if we don’t deal with the problems at hand, we are holding on to them in our head so it is best to be honest in a kind, loving and assertive way.

Until the next post, thank you for reading!